It seemed the island carried on a rhythm; day by day with each sunrise starting a new beat that ended when the sun sank beneath the waves. Our days followed those of the traditional day in the adult world, breakfast, lunch at noon, and then dinner in the evening. The little ones had retreated into their own world; they created a little civilization by the banks of the river leading into the pool. Little sand castles very intricately decorated, with stones paths leading around through each castle, and little stick railroads which carried imaginary trains from destination to destination throughout the little world. They ruled here, playing a very King of the Hill like game, they would compete for rule of the sand castle realm, with throwing sand and the occasional rock until one of the competitors was vanquished and sent off whimpering into the jungle.
On this particular morning I was drifting in the pool, and I amused watched one of these little battles between, Percival, Johnny, and Henry. The main argument seemed to be between Henry, and Percival over what must be a very desirable castle. They were throwing sand at each other, and eventually Percival let out a shrill noise and ran off into the jungle rubbing his eye, followed closely by Johnny who was pelted with sand until he scurried after Percival. Highly amused I watched as Henry happily threw sand at invisible opponents, he lost interest soon enough and began marshalling bugs into little holes he dug into the ground. I turned around to climb out of the water, to rest a little in the shade of the tree. I saw Simon floating listlessly in the water, drifting in no particular direction. I grimaced as I saw Piggy advancing in my direction, looking happy. He plopped himself down under the branches of a tree next to me.
"Ralph I was thinking, maybe we should have a clock." He paused looking at my expression trying to read it, I tried to mimic being asleep to escape from this conversation. "Well he plowed on, we could make sundials, you can stick a stick in the ground, and wherever a shadow falls on a clock that is what time is it." He grinned apparently thinking he had come up with a great idea. I rolled over.
"Yes Piggy, and why don't we also build an airplane to just fly away from here?" I grinned, I was amazed at how he could be so excited over something so irrelevant as time. I opened one eye examining his face, he seemed happy.
"Well we could each carry around a stick and stick in the ground to tell the time." We were interrupted when a load thunk from across the pool came from an area near Henry. Stones were being hurled from someone hiding among the greenery, they were all missing him by an amount of feet or so it probably one of his enemies seeking revenge. The noise slowly stopped, and for a few minutes there were loud noises echoing around the jungle, followed by slightly nervous laughing. Then these too slowly died away and all was silent again. I kept up the act of feigning sleep, and gazing out over the water. The heat distorted my vision, and some sort of mirage over the water appeared. I column of smoke on the horizon rose into view. I rubbed my eyes and squinted in the direction of the distortion. it didn't disappear. A ship!
"A ship!" I scrambled up to my feet and ran around the pool towards the lagoon. " A ship! A ship has come!" I looked up to the top of the cliff, no smoke. Simon now joined me, and squinting at the horizon began scrambling up the rocks to get a better look. In desperation I tried to run up the hill, but what would I start a fire with? Piggy was below trying to climb up the hill but tripping on every rock possible. There was no point I looked in desperation at the ship fading into the distance.
"Please come back!" I rushed to the top of the cliff and shouted "Help! Help! come back!" The ship did not turn, and Simon rushed up beside me, but we were interrupted by a noise. A chanting far below. Between the trees, I could see a group of boys, trooping up the hill. They were carrying a large stick supported by Sam and Eric, I could see somehting large and pink on the stick. My eyes widened in horror, as I began to see the scene more clearly, it was a huge pig. They had sekewered it on a stick, it hung limply swaying side to side slightly. Sam and Eric were drenched by the deep red blood, running from the pigs throat but they looked very pleased. The boys, were covered by a think layer of mud which obsurced their faces, They all were smiling, and I could hear all the boys gleefully crying in unison,
"Kill the pig! Cut her throat! Spill her blood" Jack was dancing up the hill, happliy clambering over the rocks. He climbed atop the mountain and cried triumphantly
"we got a pig!" It was preposterous, really they had let the fire go out and a ship, go by, a chance of rescue. Jack was busy recounting the story and dancing all around.
" and then we cut her throat and.."
"You let the fire go out." I said incredulously He turned and his gyrating slowed.
" It can't have been out for long, I need all my hunters to make a ring around the pig" He grinned malevolently.
"A ship went by, and since the fire was out they didn't see us." He stopped dead, he looked at me horrified realizing the implications of his actions. His eyes took on a slightly opalescence sheen as he spoke.
"We caught a pig, we will have meat tonight."
"I build huts, and you go off and hunt, your only task is to keep the fire going, and you let it go out for pig when we could have gone home!" Piggy jumped in now.
"Jack! All you want is blood! We could have left to go home!"
I looked over the edge of the cliff into the setting sun, there was no hint of smoke now, the horizon was a flat empty line stretching into eternity.
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6 comments:
they created a little civilization by the banks of the river leading into the pool.
It sounds like you reallt used discribtives in what you were trying to say after and before this sentence
Zoe-
Great job. Is it finished though? Unlike in your other ones there are a few spelling errors. Can you make the words obvious? Nice work.
-Emma
Your blog is really descriptive. I really liked the ending sentence "I looked over the edge of the cliff into the setting sun, there was no hint of smoke now, the horizon was a flat empty line stretching into eternity." It really showed Ralph's loss of hope of being rescued.
There our some grammatical errors like the title, please fix.
Otherwise really good work!
Thank for letting me know, I will fix them right away!
Zoe,
Your journal is filled with endless descriptions that fill the reader's mind with vivid images. Great job! Your focused attention to detail in this section is particularly striking: "Little sand castles very intricately decorated, with stones paths leading around through each castle, and little stick railroads which carried imaginary trains from destination to destination throughout the little world."
REVISION: Write 5 sentences that describe the vision of Jack and his hunters strolling up with their pig.
Here are my five sentences...Between the trees, I could see a group of boys, trooping up the hill. They were carrying a large stick supported by Sam and Eric, I could see something large and pink on the stick. My eyes widened in horror, as I began to see the scene more clearly, it was a huge pig. They had skewered it on a stick; it hung limply swaying side to side slightly. Sam and Eric were drenched head to foot by the deep red blood, running from the pig’s throat but they looked very pleased. The boys, were covered by a think layer of mud which obscured their faces, they all were smiling, and I could hear all the boys gleefully crying in unison,
"Kill the pig! Cut her throat! Spill her blood" Jack was dancing up the hill, happily clambering over the rocks. He climbed atop the mountain and cried triumphantly
I added the ending so you could understand te last sentence.
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